Alfred Pennyworth, Bat-Mechanic at Your Service
Besides being the right-hand man, tireless butler, and surrogate father figure
to the most famous crime fighter in or out of Gotham City, Alfred Pennyworth was
also a crack auto mechanic. Charged with the care and maintenance of Batman's
personal set of wheels, the legendary Batmobile, it was imperative that Alfred
be at the top of his wrench-turning game.
Alfred Pennyworth always made sure that the Batcave housed a massive selection
of aftermarket accessories at any
given time. Fighting crime takes a heavy toll on equipment, so along with the
endless number of performance
parts that the Batmobile went through nightly from trading paint with
criminals, there were also the mundane items to keep in stock. Of course, we'd
like to believe the Batmobile is above the driveway maintenance that our dads
performed on the Vista Cruiser, but, alas, it is an automobile, steel and
rubber.
Like any prudent fleet manager, Alfred kept the bat racks full of cold
air intake systems, performance
mufflers, air
filters and car
gauges. Of course, oil changes were performed every 3,000 miles, so there
were always stocks of oil and oil
filters. And, due to the heavy electrical draw of components like the
Batscope and Batphone, no fewer than 20 car
batteries (sourced form various Dodge
accessories) were always on wing. In fact, its been said that this section
of the cave would be the bat dream of any ASE mechanic worth his salt.
Fighting crime in an armored bat suit can also get a little stuffy, so Alfred
always made sure his charge remained comfortable even on the hottest Gotham
nights. Though the Batmobile is essentially a Targa top, an operational air
conditioner was a must. So Alfred stocked plenty of k&N
air filters, Volant
air intakes and cool
air intake systems. The compressor is actually a Frankenstein project of
Alfred's, made up of a mixture of spare Toyota
Tundra accessories and Dodge
truck accessories.
Much to the dismay of many auto purists, the Batmobile utilized a smattering of
parts from many manufacturers. Due to part unavailability at times, and the
heightened sense of need for an always operational Batmobile, Alfred made do
with a hodge-podge of husky
floor mats and all
weather floor liners to augment the Ford/Lincoln platform the car is based
on. Alfred was said to have taken it even further, and found ways to incorporate
high-performance VW
accessories and Toyota
accessories.
To perform some of the more unusual functions the Batmobile boasted, Alfred came
up with several clever solutions. The B&M Hydro Automatic transmission, for
instance, obviously ran on performance
car chip tuners; however, the Batcave stocked power
programmer tuners, too. It's been said that this manual fluid could be used
as an effective oil slick to detour anyone in pursuit of the bat car. Mechanics
gloves were kept on hand for maintenance of course, but Batman has actually
used them to restrain foiled criminals as they waited for police. And, an ugly
incident that both Alfred and Bruce would rather forget, a bug
shield can make a tight-lipped criminal squawk like a canary when used
effectively. And, it's better left unsaid what can be accomplished with a
modified license
plate frame and some extra-sharp trailer
hitch covers.
All in all, the Batmobile is much like the automobiles we do our own bat
commutes in, just faster and battier. Weekend warriors, driveway
do-it-yourselfers, even ASE certified hot-shots, can all glean some hard-earned
wisdom from our man Alfred Pennyworth. That is, always have a reliable source
for replacement auto parts, and the bat-genuity it takes to make do with what
you have and get the bat-job done right. Gotham depends on it!